The One With all THE STATS

It’s day 73 as I draft this blog entry, we are in transit back home. Where did all these days go??? I am painfully behind on blogging given the sketchy internet situation and all the fun we’ve been having with our new honourary Gong Show members, Irene Plavins, Colleen Owen and Evan Owen! In an effort to preserve the memories of this epic adventure, I will be filling in all the gaps as quickly as I can so as not to risk losing a moment etched firmly in my heart and mind. Further, both kids will be posting their impressions and thoughts over the next few days, shockingly at their own behest lol.

In the meantime, whilst on the plane ride back from the Galapagos Islands, I decided to dust off the old math skills (hold all comments, please) and have attempted to quantify our trip by the numbers. They are astonishing!

Travelling Gong Show by The Numbers:

• 77 days
• 3 countries (1 just in transit)
• 4 islands (Galapagos: Baltra, Santa Cruz, Isabela, San Cristóbal)
• 39 different city stops in order of my recollection

Canada: Toronto; Colombia: Bogotá; Ecuador: Guayaquil, Salinas, Puerto Lopez, Machala, Loja, Cuenca, Vilcabamba, Baños, Riobamba, Quito, Mindo, Otavalo; Peru: Lima, Urubamba, Sillacancha, Pisac, Cusco, Hydroelectric, La Playa, Salkantay, Aguas Calientes, Cusco, Ica, Huacachina, Paracas, Lima; Ecuador: Guayaquil, Playas, Puellara, Guayallabamba, Otavalo, Mindo, Puerto Ayora (Santa Cruz), Bahia de Caráquez (San Cristobal); Colombia: Bogotá.

• 11 airplanes
• 86 hours spent on buses
• 12 speedboats taken — (2 nail-biters through rough seas)
• 2 trains
• 18 taxis
• 5 horses
• 6,700+ km logged in a Toyota Prado throughout Ecuador
• 350+ km walked (deduct 80 km for Alvi/Saffy tally!)
• 4 “airbnb” bookings (all fantastic)
• 31 different beds slept in
• 0 bedbugs (hurray!!!)
• 17 hostels
• 3 fancy hotels (“fancy” = 4 star and a deliberate splurge)
• 3 nights in tents
• 35 days spent at altitudes over 8,000 ft
• 3 exhilarating mountain encounters
• 16,000 ft highest altitude as a family (Chimborazo)
• 9 days spent in temperatures over 37 degrees celcius
• 4 days spent in temperatures below 0
• 1 fight with Alvi
• 10 Piper meltdowns
• 12 Mom/Piper fights
• 2 Piper personalities (see above)
• 2 new card games acquired
• 70+ days hearing about the missed Shawn Mendes concert
• 4 private “make-shift” Shawn Mendes tribute evenings
• 2 exotic fruit juices tried by Saffy
• 8 well-written arguments by Saffy begging for Pokémon Go!
• 40% of wardrobe brought never worn
• 1 random, surprise encounter with friend from back home
• 15,000+ images taken by Alvi with his Sony a6000 (Canon lenses)
• 1 broken lens (subsequently 1 night of full cursing by Alvi)
• 3 attempts to find replacement lens, each one a bust
• 5 trips to the pharmacy for relief from stomach ailments
• 3 episodes of vomiting, all by Piper (poor kiddo)
• 1 accidental dosage of substance that reacts to heart pills given
• 1 bailed attempt to see doctor in hospital due to the above
• 1 missing item (a $1 bracelet from Peru bought by Piper)
• $1 cheapest taxi ride
• $40 most expensive taxi ride
• 1 hose job meal experience: El Chocolaté Restaurant in Santa Cruz
• 1 hose job snorkel experience: Los Viajes de Darwin Travel Agency
• $50 refund out of $870 paid for hose job snorkel experience
• $3 cheapest meal, included 3 courses (Peru)
• $22 cheapest overnight (Peru)
• 0 rude people encounters (this is AMAZING!!!)
• 3 web-sites Sam locked out of due to travel-related memory loss
• 7 occasions Sam was terrified (speeding taxis, gargantuan waves)
• 3 occasions Saffy was terrified (earthquake, gargantuan waves)
• 17 times mistaken as Americans (we are NOT gringos lol)
• 3 the number of cats Saffy wanted to adopt
• 150+ the number of homeless cats seen
• 5 the number of dogs both girls wanted to take home
• 200+ the number of stray dogs encountered
• 1 dog that rode shotgun on a motorcycle
• 2 hair cuts had by Alvi, both $4 each
• 100s of selfie sticks seen in Peru
• 1 earthquake, 4.7 magnitude, epicentre, right underneath us
• 1 boulder that fell from a cliff over top of which the Prado drove
• 9 epiphanies by Sam (separate blog post to come)
• 2 nights kept awake from drunken karaoke peeps
• 13 nights woken up at 4:00 am by roosters
• 4 nights kept awake by barking beach masters (sea lions)
• 4 nights woken up at 4:30 am by singing military group
• 13 loads of laundry done (shockingly low!)
• 9 random parades (4 gay pride, 4 religious, 1 a funeral)
• 1 protest
• 5 angel card readings (1 by a professional)
• $173 in bank fees charged for ATM withdrawals (grrrrr…..)
• $13,000 typical cost for family of 4 cruise experience in Galapagos
• $2,600 the cost for doing the Galapagos OUR WAY
• 6 different types of beer enjoyed by Alvi
• 2 occasions where Sam forgot her wallet
• 2 occasions where kind people chased her down to give it back
• 1 occasion where Sam thought she lost her iPhone
• $700 discovered in ATM left by a dude from Denmark
• 1 overjoyed traveller from Denmark recovered his $ by Alvi
• 3 razors used by the family (ewww….. yes, we are hairy)
• 10 items of baggage at the onset of trip
• 14 items of baggage at the conclusion of trip
• 7 bottles of sunscreen used
• 2 bottles of bug spray used
• 3 times caught without toilet paper in public restroom
• 21 public buses (“collectivos”, aka mini-vans) used
• 31 number of people we were crammed in said minivan with
• 2 anxiety attacks given excessive heat and passengers in minivans
• 50+ ladies Alvi helped on and off buses, planes, boats, trains
• 3 extra Gong Show travellers picked up along the way
• 18 new people who made a mark on our hearts including:

Joaquin + Diana (known to me, but not my family) our wonderful Ecuadorian hosts/guides; Felix our guide on the Salkantay Trek; Jens, Rolf, Pierre, Clément, Jean-Noël, Julie (friends made on the Salkantay Trek; the guy from Miami we met on the bus to Lima (wish I could remember his name); Alex and Liz our airbnb hosts in the Sacred Valley, Peru; Isabel (gracious owner of Lava House in Galapagos, a kick-ass hostel); Alejandro (the best Galapagos snorkel guide ever); Sebastien of Nativo Restaurant on San Cristobal, Galapagos; Miguel, the 67 year-old fisherman from Galapagos who spent 77 days adrift in the ocean and lived to tell about it; Manuel our groundskeeper at the hacienda in Puellara; Daniela, the lovely hostess of our airbnb in Galapagos; and the beautiful young Dutch girl we met on the terrible snorkel tour we took, travelling alone and loving it… never did get her name but she made an impact).

And the most important statistic? Number of regrets….? ZERO.